Typin2u's Thoughts by Typin2u

Typin2u's Thoughts

Monday May 19, 2008

A possible second chance...but a sad twist...

Well, some of you may remember back before the end of the year I went to be tested if I was a candidate for lasik eye surgery, and in the end I was told my left eye was just a hair too bad to have a good result. The doc suggested that I not do it, and he let $5,000 walk out the door...well I respected him for that.

Last week I heard a commercial on the radio for a DIFFERENT doctor's office that was saying "If you have been told you were not a candidate we have a new procedure..." SO, I called the FIRST doc who was so honest with me and asked about this different procedure...well the office just got a BRAND NEW, HIGHER TECH laser (there are only 4 in the USA right now) that is rated to be able to safely do my eyes! I was so thrilled...they want me to be re-evaluated (which means a month with no hard contacts).

However, this time around it, there has been some hardship and heartbreak....last time Tom was VERY supportive and really wanted me to have the procedure, but when I told him about this new technology, he surprised me and hurt me terribly...he said I am being selfish and this is too much money (but it is the same price as back in November.) I was floored...I figured we would be about 4 months into the payment plan already, so what was the big deal??? I cryed for hours (we were at the camp...I went for a LONG walk in the rain and then sat in the car crying). I just didn't understand his complete turn around...I thought he would be happy for me...the gift of eyesight!! I mean I can see being called selfish if I was getting a boob job or something...but this is clear EYESIGHT...something I have never experienced since I can remember. But...I guess the economy is stressing him out..gas prices...everything costs more these days...he is worried about the payments (even though it is 2 years with zero percent financing)

Anyway, now the whole thing is twinged with guilt and the fear that it will be thrown up in my face at some point in the future...what I view as a life changing event is now somehow tarnished...I am happy, excited, sad and hurt all at the same time...

...each time I think of this situation I start to cry...as I am now...

Thanks for letting me get this out...I needed to put my feelings out there...I haven't spoken to anyone about how hurt and disappointed I was...but I am still thrilled with the prospect of waking up and SEEING THE CLOCK!

I sign off with mixed emotions and a thanks to those who take the time to listen to my whining!

Posted by Typin2u at 9:30 PM - 2 Comments Add a Comment

Sunday March 23, 2008

Happy Easter....well......just OK to be exact...

Today we went to my mother-in-laws for Easter. It was ok...Paul came with us, Carissa had to work at the bar. His brothers Johnny, Jimmy and Steven were there with their families. It was nice enough...an hour drive down...it was a quiet, boring day. We got home around 5pm. I just boiled up a small Kielbasa...we enjoyed that little snack.

Friday night Lisa and I got into a fight. She made up with Gary last Friday, and for some reason she felt she couldn't tell me!! I don't get it...I thought we were building our sister relationship...but she thought I would be mad...I am actually really GLAD she decided to talk to him again...it made things uncomfortable for the rest of the family when she wasn't! Anyway...it REALLY hurt my feelings that she thought I would judge her...when in actuality, her not telling me was really like her judging me! Whatever...she hurt me...I guess I should be used to it...my family is always hurting and judging me...let it go Gail....

Well, there is nothing on TV, so I am sitting here in my room, on my nice comfy bed, enjoying a nice glass of wine, surfing the WWW.

Happy Easter Everyone!!

Posted by Typin2u at 8:07 PM - 2 Comments Add a Comment

Wednesday March 19, 2008

I hurt my knee...

I have had a set back...I injured my knee at the gym! I am so mad and upset right now. I did Kick Boxing on Monday and I woke up Tues with a VERY SORE knee...I have "felt them" before after working out, but this time I had to use a brace to walk and I had to leave early to prop it up. I am just so frustrated with the sad state of my body! When I started working out in October, I thought by this I would be a bit thinner and in better shape...but with the SAD sapping my energy for all of Jan & Feb, the flu, the knee now...it is just frustrating and depressing that I am basically the same as I was back in October! I was crying earlier...and of course Tom is no help...he doesn't know how to comfort anything...which of course only made me cry more! I am locked up in my bedroom all alone, with my light box on, watching the depressing evening news...

Whatever...life continues...whether we want it to or not.

I am about ready to get off the roller coaster.....

Sorry about the doom and gloom...but that is how it is...

Posted by Typin2u at 6:45 PM - 7 Comments Add a Comment

Sunday March 16, 2008

Finally getting back to being me....

Well...weeks have gone by and I am FINALLY getting back to normal! This past week was my first time back to the gym! I still have a little bit of a cough off and on, but my energy level is finally returning!

On Friday our new mattress was delivered! It is WONDERFUL...like sleeping on a cloud. We went with a Sealy Latex Foam mattress! It is supportive yet soft and contouring! The disappointing thing is that there was a small rip on the pillow top! The store advised us, since it has a 30 day in home guarantee, to sleep on it for a couple weeks, make sure it is the mattress we REALLY want, and then they will swap it out for an undamaged one in a couple weeks...I think they just didn't have one in stock! lol...whatever, we get to sleep on the cloud until they get one in!

Yesterday Tom and I had a late lunch/early dinner at Westwood's...it was nice...we had a couple good draft beers and some excellent food! Tom was supposed to play poker with the guys on the street, so I decided to visit Carissa at Jocko's for a beer while she worked! Funny thing was, I just got there, hadn't even ordered a beer yet and my MOM walked in!! She had called the house to ask how the mattress was and Tom said I was at Jocko's (which is 2 minutes from my parents house), so Mom came to have a beer with me and to see Carissa!! It was nice! We ended up having 2 beers each! One of the "regulars" said "You can't leave already...have another beer" and he bought my mom a round!! lol She had fun...and so did I...

Tom, Paul, Marty and myself played Pitch when I got home...Tom decided not to play Poker with the neighbors...it was a lovely day!!

Today, I don't have much in the way of plans...need to vacuum around here...maybe watch some Nascar...who knows...just gonna take it easy...

I am so glad to be feeling a bit more like my old self again!!

Posted by Typin2u at 10:55 AM - 3 Comments Add a Comment

Sunday February 24, 2008

A SUNNY day...a MARVOULOUS feeling!!

I did end up taking Friday off (thanks Whit, Taylor & Bohemian for encouraging me to!) The weather was terrible all day...snowed the entire day. It was nice to just hibernate. I did get the cold/flu thing Tom had! Yuck! The worst part for me has been the middle-back ache I have had for 2 days! My energy level has been low since Thursday, but TODAY!! TODAY is a gloriously sunny day here in New England with no breeze...it has been wonderful! Tom, Paul and myself went out to breakfast and then for a walk around the block with the dog upon our return! SOAKING UP THE RAYS!! It has felt wonderful! Then Paul and I sat in the driveway reading for awhile! Paul baked a spice cake and I am enjoying a slice right now with a cup of tea! YUMMY!

I have some congestion and a slight cough...not too bad. And even with that, I still am in a good mood today! It is DEFINATELY the SUN! The girls from work emailed me on Friday saying my Light Therapy Box was delivered, so that is good news because after today, I know that the light will help my mood and energy!

We are due for another snow storm Tues into Weds I think, so who knows when winter will decide to fade, but I am glad I should start to feel better with the light box...

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful Sunday!!

Posted by Typin2u at 4:18 PM - 3 Comments Add a Comment

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Author: Typin2u
From Westfield Massachusetts, USA
Age: 45

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